Why is it your creative relationships get no attention? My guess is you are too busy finding time to create, so cultivating artistic relationships and honing your partnership skills gets pushed aside. To get us started, then, let's address some common avoidance excuses to get you back on track to creating effectively with others :
"My partner gives vague critiques for my work." This is a simple preparation issue. Creatives sometimes think efficiency is a counter to their process, but I'll bet your favorite books are precise, your favorite paintings are meticulous, and your favorite songs are thunderously clear. So don't treat critique sessions casually, like some watercooler recap of Game of Thrones. Show the process some respect. Come to a critique session with the same attitude you would to a Japanese tea ceremony: anticipating great pleasure, but with an posture of great respect. Start with the positives (these can be vague, like "you write great dialogue") then address the negatives (these are never vague). If you can't demonstrate a change you would like to see with a specific example, don't bother saying it. Your criticism may be valid, but it will also be useless. "If an author needs a reader, it just means they haven't done enough rewrites." This isn't true for literally thousands of reasons, but I'll give you one specific example where a reader's insight is irreplaceable. An author cannot read their own work in real time. Art is lived by the audience in a particular order the author can never experience (first word to last, usually). So a reading experienced in real time is valuable information an author can only get through someone else. Therefore getting trusted outside readers is a top priority. Critique partners should document their emotions in the moment. Write down "I laughed here," "I gasped here," or "I thought this guy died on the previous page but now he's back." "My partner and I have no time to compare notes or read WIPs (works in progress)." You have the time, you're just not "making" it. Stop thinking of your partnership as a casual favor exchange. You're not asking someone to help move your couch in exchange for pizza, here. You're writing is important. Treat it as such. Make short deadlines for yourselves (long deadlines only add stress) and one another accountable for them. On the other side of the coin, don't send your partner a lumpy, unpolished work. S/he isn't your personal spellcheck. "My partner doesn't "get" my work." Then, my friend, you need a new partner. Disentangling yourself from a creative relationship can be painful. But an influential voice who doesn't understand your vision will tear apart your work until its DOA. If you don't severe ties, you will eventually be putting your beloved WIP on the funeral pyre. But if you are just having trouble getting your partner to understand a particular work when there hasn't been a problem before, that's a different problem. Offer your reader a list of five works that align with your vision. For example, if Cody (my partner) tells me Die Hard inspired his WIP, I have a reference point through which I can orient my feedback. Solving these problems gets me though 95% of my issues, but I'd love to hear about other partner issues and how you worked through them. Remember, your partners are an extension of your creative practice. Treat them generously and carefully, as you treat any true and beautiful thing.
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